A quick post before I have to start getting ready for work:

I was driving around and running some errands today and I started to think about relationships and companionship. Why is it that now days our relationship status is a direct correlation to our life status? I mean, honestly. If someone begins a new relationship with someone what is the first thing they do? Facebook. Seriously. You can't tell me you haven't done it...me? Guilty as well. If a person is alone, most view the situation with sympathy. I've only met a handful of [stable] people who view NOT being in a relationship as a good thing. So, why? Why must we think that we have it made if only we are in a relationship? If a woman in her 40s has never been married or even close to being engaged, what does that make her? Do you pity her? Maybe under some circumstances, yes...but probably not. Yet, a young college woman who is probably in her early 20s can be engaged and we praise that? How many of you really mean it when you tell someone "congratulations" after you hear they are getting married only a handful [or less] years after graduating from high school?

Me? I don't pity myself. Sure I just got out of a 1 year, unstable, ridiculously involved relationship and YES it hurt like hell. Ok? I won't deny it. It still sometimes hurts like hell, but listen. I am 20 years old and these next few [or maybe more] years are MINE. For myself. So I can strengthen my relationship with MYSELF. I don't need someone to text when I'm lonely at night or when I can't find anyone to hang out with on a Friday. So to all of you who think that being in a relationship makes you some sort of greater person, fuck that. Because while you're still searching for yourself 20 years from now, and even though you may have a husband/wife/significant other/boyfriend/girlfriend and possibly a house and a stable income, I will know myself...and when I'm ready to offer that up to a man, it will be because I am absolutely sure I am destined to be with him. Not because I was lonely and needed someone to fill my own personal voids.

"When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings." -Liz Gilbert

Today I hit the pavement for the first time in awhile. The weather was great, I didn't have anything else to do, and I have been feeling incredibly guilty and down on myself for not being disciplined and lazy lately. I only ran a quick two miles (due to blistering heels), but it felt great. First of all the weather was perfect and I got away with shorts and a measly t-shirt; can't complain about that when December is only a few days away! I love passing other runners who always offer a smile and some encouragement...before I knew it I had picked my jogging pace up and finished the last half mile in a sprint. I arrived at my car just as the sun was setting - I love the feeling I get whenever I finish a run. I am forever thankful that Tulsa offers such convenient, safe, and clean running paths through river parks. Also, mama nature can you please keep the kindness up with this beautiful weather? I'm not sure if it can get much better than this folks!

Whoever wants to buy me this as an early Christmas gift is totally welcome to. Just saying.

Lemon Chicken (pre-race) Pasta!

I made this dish the night before the Route 66 race. It's light and delicious and incredibly simple to make. All you need is an over-sized deep skillet. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

2 tbsp chopped garlic

red pepper flakes

2-4 large lemons

1 lb. whole wheat penne pasta

4 chicken breasts

3 tbsp olive oil

shredded cheese

Directions:

1.) Cook the penne pasta in salted boiling water until al dente. Al dente = cooked through but the pasta still needs to be a little firm when you bite into it. Approx 10 minutes! Drain the pasta well.

2.) Add the olive oil to a large skillet and warm over medium heat. After the olive oil is warm, add the garlic and red pepper flakes. I am not a huge fan of exact measurements, so use as much as you prefer! If you love garlic, add more. If you like spicy, add more red pepper flakes...this is all to your liking!

3.) When you can smell the garlic and red pepper, add the cooked pasta and chicken into the skillet and remove from the heat. You will know when the garlic and red pepper are cooked when your kitchen starts to smell like the sweet chile sauce from your favorite asian restaurant. For the chicken, I buy the pre-cooked, pre-packaged Tyson brand fajita chicken. If you want to grill/bake your chicken, go for it! The pre-cooked stuff is just a shortcut - and again, add as much as you like. Two bags does it for me! Toss the pasta and chicken together with the olive oil, garlic, and red pepper.

4.) Squeeze lemon juice over the pasta. I prefer mine to be pretty moist and lemon-y, so I use anywhere from 2-4 lemons depending on the size and how much juice I get out of each. Remember, the lemon juice is basically replacing any type of sauce you usually put on pasta, so be generous!

4.) Mix well so that the lemon juice is well incorporated in the dish. Next: CHEESE! I use the italian blend of shredded cheese which includes: mozzarella, asiago, parmesan, romano, and fontina (yuummm). I use around 3 handfuls...extra can always be added in the individual bowls. Serve and stuff your face.

Yesterday marked the 5th annual Route 66 Marathon in which I was supposed (due to race confusion, I missed the start of my run because the start lines were not the same and no announcement was made, so I basically stood around looking like a dumbass for about 30 minutes) to run the 5k while my mom ran her 3rd half marathon! So congrats Mom, but shame on me. That is not the point of this post. Later that afternoon I had received news from my mother that someone had passed away while running. While this is not incredibly common, it does happen. I cannot even begin to express the sort of emotions that I went through after hearing this...it is always incredibly sad to hear that someone has passed, but for me, a fellow runner passing while racing just breaks my heart. It takes incredible mental and physical strength to run a race, no matter what distance, and I know that first hand. Later on that evening I spoke to my best friend who had told me that the man who died earlier was a friend of ours, Marcus. While I had only hung out with Marcus one time, I was still incredibly saddened by this news as was Katie. The night I met him Katie and I had gone to his house to hang out with a few of her ex co-workers...my eyes immediately zoned in on Marcus's many half-marathon medals including an identical one to mine from last year's OKC half marathon. I feel like runners have a bond and an instant relationship...there is only one sort of person who knows how much dedication, determination, and discipline running takes and not to mention how many challenges you face along the way, and that is a fellow runner. When someone tells me that they too are a runner, I feel instantly connected with them...just as I had with Marcus. To hear of this 27 yr old man's passing was not only shocking but terrifying. He had a heart attack and died on the course around mile 10...only 3.1 to go. My thoughts have been with his family and friends since I heard the news and I cannot even begin to fathom the pain they are feeling especially with the holidays coming up. Marcus was one of the nicest and most welcoming people I have ever met and he will greatly be missed by many.

So, I have just returned from the land of marching band aka Indianapolis, IN. The weather was great and overall it was a pretty great trip. I watched my baby brother perform his very last high school marching show and I didn't cry (success!) and I was wined and dined at an apparent incredibly popular burger joint and had the greatest cuban sandwich at this little gem. I had never been to Indiana before, so I get to check one more state off of my list! I learned two things over the entire four days that I was there:

1. You cannot escape your problems...not even if you're 1000 miles from home.

2. Words are sharp; you can never take them back. Always watch what you say.

I also finished reading The Lost Girls and to anyone who loves reading and traveling, please pick up a copy at your favorite bookstore. The book exceeded my expectations and took my longing to travel up a notch...which is exactly why I am planning a mini-backpacking trip to Canada with a few closest friends. Hopefully we can pull it off and do it FOR REAL.

And for any of you who have read this book, I did a little bit of extra research and discovered that the three authors (Jen, Amanda, and Holly) have actually created a 'lost girls' website:

http://www.lostgirlsworld.com/

I even emailed the authors a few nights ago and received a personal reply Tuesday afternoon via email on my Blackberry in the middle of Taco Bueno. My dad was amused when I started grinning and dancing around for no apparent reason (to him).

Am I ballsy enough to buy this shirt?

I think so.

As a woman now in my early 20s, you would assume my interests would start swaying a certain way (i.e. long term relationships, trips to the jewelry store, something old/new/borrowed/blue, kids, family sized SUV's, etc.) I just can't really envision any of this in my life. Honestly, I would much rather sit at home and watch a football game. That's me. I never really give myself a chance to feel feminine and I certainly don't expect for others to treat me as a feminine person. Time out though - I am as much of a feminists as it gets, so don't think I am dogging on my fellow feminine women. There's nothing wrong with my view of "I am woman, hear me roar" being a life size cutout of Rosie our favorite riviter - on some days though, I just want to feel like a woman.

I've never learned how to properly apply makeup therefor you will never see me wearing it. I don't own a set of diamond earrings or my grandmother's vintage pearls. I can't remember the last time I wore a sundress and actually felt beautiful in it. I've never owned a pair of heels, yet I do own every kind of running or hiking shoe possible. Now, I'm not discouraging my "tom-boyish" ways, but after a visit to Williams Sonoma yesterday with my boyfriend in Utica Square I started to feel a little down on myself for not making more of an effort. Why should I constantly get to dog on people for not treating me as if I am woman when I don't even act like it?

So today I'm going to go get a well deserved manicure. Then I'll probably go lay in the tanning bed and go out and enjoy the beautiful Tulsa weather and jog a few miles. Maybe I'll treat myself to some ice cream or buy a new outfit at anthropologie. Maybe I'll venture into sephora and ask for a makeup tutorial :) I'll never pack away my blue jeans, I'll never trade in my Asics for a pair of stilettos, but I will start making a conscious effort to look nice and to tell myself that I am a woman. I am a woman who has short, stubby legs - but my short stubby legs have carried me through miles and miles over the last few years. My arms may be a little bigger, but I've been able to give great comforting and loving hugs with them. It's all about perspective I suppose.

"Elegance is the prerogative of those who have just escaped from adolescence, but of those who have already taken possession of their future."

-Coco Chanel